Stepping into the Unknown

“By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to the place which he would receive as an inheritance.  And he went out, not knowing where he was going.” Hebrews 11:8

On May 23^rd, 2012, the Lord completed my time at Calvary Chapel Adelanto/Victor Valley and now has a new beginning for me.  I ask that you pray for me as I begin this new journey and step out in faith not knowing where I’m going.  My faith is knowing that just as God’s presence moved in the cloud by day and the fire by night with the children of Israel following, so I realize that as God goes before me I will follow, knowing that I will never arrive at a place where God has not first preceded and prepared just for me. 

As I look back over these past 7 ½ years of serving at Calvary Chapel Adelanto/Victor Valley the best way to sum it up would be seeing it as boot camp – for this is where I got intensely trained.  In the spiritual sense I had muscles stretched, exercised, and formed that I never knew existed.  There has been blood (from several paper cuts ;) ), sweat, and tears put into this training time.  When I started there on August 12, 2004 with the expectation of full time ministry, little did I understand that as a child of God and follower of Jesus Christ that full time ministry began the moment I surrendered my life to Him.  Because, when Jesus calls someone to surrender to Him by leaving their old life, He then bids them to come and follow Him and from that point our lives are to be full time ministry.  My problem was I was given the perception that full time ministry was dedicating your life working at church – this perception was so wrong.  You see, God calls you and me no matter where we’re at or what we’re doing to be busy about in “full time ministry” of living out the gospel – the Good News – of Jesus Christ.  Are you a stay at home wife and mother?  You’re in full time ministry.  Are you on duty in the military?  You’re in full time ministry.  Are you in prison?  You’re in full time ministry.  Are you a worker at Wal-mart?  You’re in full time ministry.  Are you a police officer?  You’re in full time ministry.  Are you a student in school?  You’re in full time ministry.  Are you retired? You’re in full time ministry.  Are you confined to bed with sickness?  You’re in full time ministry.  Are you elderly?  You’re in full time ministry.  Are you single?  You’re in full time ministry.  Wherever you’re at, whatever circumstances you find yourself in DO NOT dictate who you are in Christ and the life of ministry He’s called you to live for Him.  I’m going to go one step further…your identity can’t even be found in ministry – your identity has to be found in Christ alone.  So, with that said, I’m letting everyone know that I’m not walking away from ministry but I’m continuing on with my ministry.

It says in Hebrews 11:6 “But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.” I’m here to testify to all of you that God is very real.  Just in the past couple of years in the midst of my grandpa drowning in my swimming pool; to my grandma passing a year and a half later; to being robbed; to going through a loss of relationship; to now losing my job - He has proven to be there with me every step of the way and has showed me that even with these people and things taken away from me that He is still everything.  I have judged Him faithful in every circumstance I’ve had to endure and I believe that He will continue to be faithful.  Everything is ordered by Him and even though I don’t understand why He allows some things to happen, I must say it is well with my soul knowing that He is full control.  I’m not going to lie - I get terrified sometimes and overwhelmed with the unknown…yes, people I’m human!  I can easily chant “I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful!  I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful!” and then moments later feel so crazy overwhelmed in my head that I want to drive myself to the hospital and get pumped up with drugs just so I can stop thinking.  In moments like this I must “run with endurance the race that is set before (me), LOOKING UNTO JESUS, the author and finisher of (my) faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrews 12:1-2).  Just the thought alone of Jesus sitting this very moment next to God interceding for me brings so much comfort!  I also have to thank all of you who have already been flooding heaven with prayers for me – I am in awe of your love and support.

To the One who alone is wise, all-knowing, and perfect in all His ways, my life is completely surrendered to His plan and I turn my eyes forward, walking hand in hand with Jesus as I step into the unknown.

What is that to You?

So Peter seeing him said to Jesus, "Lord, and what about this man?"  Jesus said to him, "If I want him to remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow Me!" 

John 21:21-23

   < -------- Hi-eeeeeeeeeeee! Yep, it’s me - all excited and ready to get a cake decorated in class!  I had been anticipating it all week long to see what kind of “awwwww-ing” masterpiece I was going to be able to create - you know, the kind of masterpiece you want to show off and be proud of?  Well, my dream turned into a nightmare as I began taking my eyes off of what I was doing and looking over at a fellow classmate’s project.  Let me give you a little background on my fellow classmate…since day 1 of cake decorating class, and to be a little more specific “Wilton’s Decorating Basics” class (ahem, pay very close attention to the word “basics”), she has come in with pictures of some really amazing decorated cakes that she had done and did so well that I couldn’t understand why she was in “this” class - you know, the “basics” class.  The basics class is meant for lil’ ol’ people like me who know zilch about what they’re doing and need to be educated.  Anyways, very sweet lady and I have nothing personal against her (except the fact that her skills are better than mine – just kidding! Okay, no I’m not…just being real here, sorry :/ ) but I just can’t understand why she is in this class!  I wonder...does she travel around just for kicks and sign up for all of the Wilton’s Decorating Basics classes just to make other students feel crappy or what?  Is she like a secretive cake decorating villain with a passion to intimidate others to give up on their hopes and dreams of decorating cakes???!

So, getting back to my cake…everything started out great...really, it did!  My buddy, Lisa, made the fabulous red velvet cake and I made the cream cheese frosting.  The problem began though when the frosting didn’t crust fast enough to smooth it out and make the decorating more easy – the consistency should have been more thick – mistake #1.  Alas, as I waited for it to crust, my eyes started drifting over to Miss “Grade A” student aka “Cake Decorating Villain” and the praise she was receiving from the instructor – mistake #2.  Instead of keeping my eyes on what I was supposed to be doing I began to compare my project to hers thus getting intimidated and being concerned about her project.  Let me show you the results of that:  

                                                                

        Her masterpiece...                                                                                       

                     My disaster...

                            

I was soooooo disappointed and soooooo embarrassed I didn’t even want to be seen exiting Hobby Lobby with this in my hands!  What made it worse is when I dropped it off at my parent’s house (because I knew my brother would it eat)  and my mom thought my icing decoration on top was a fat man until I told her “No, mom, it’s a cupcake”.

So, I’m thinking things like: “ I’M A FAILURE!”  “Why can’t I have done a beautiful job like the other lady?” “How does she make it look so easy?”

Then, a man came to mind from the Bible by the name of Peter and a time when he was found comparing himself to someone else.  And what did Jesus say to him?... “What is that to you? You follow Me!”   So Jesus says to me “Don’t worry about the other person…don’t concern yourself with what they're doing – it’s none of your business! Don’t compare yourself or envy the outcome of someone else – you be focused on what I’ve called you to do.

It is so easy to get our focus on other people and what other people are doing and to start comparing our lives to theirs especially when it seems like their lives are more exciting, bigger, and better than ours.  Are you a stay at home mom comparing yourself to the successful, educated woman in the workforce? Are you one to compare your body to the model on the cover of a magazine? Are you a single person comparing yourself to your “happy” married friend’s life?  Are you a married person comparing yourself to your “happy” single friend’s life?  Are you comparing your house to someone else’s house?  Are you comparing your life trials with someone whose life seems uninterrupted by trials? - DON’T!  When we compare we begin thinking we’re failures; we get discouraged; envy and jealousy creep in; and, we try to be someone God didn’t create us to be.

God made only one me.  God made only one you.  He has a special, specific calling on each and every one of our lives.  Don’t waste time looking at and comparing yourself to every person around you…keep your eyes looking unto Jesus (Hebrews 12:2) and His perfect plan for you!

You can’t have your cake and eat it!   < --------See what I did there ;)